March 2, 2010 - Train

Watched a movie tonight that I knew was probably going to be bad. I was right.

(52) Train (2008): Okay, I admit the primary reason I watched this movie is because it stars Thora Birch, whom I've liked in some of her previous roles. I might also have a crush on her, but that's neither here nor there. The movie is a typical "torture porn" (it's not actually porn) movie that takes is cue from movies such as Hostel, Saw, and Frontier(s). A group of students miss their train to Odessa, Ukraine, and have to take an entirely different train. You already know the setup. Gore, blood, nonsense, people getting killed because they're idiots, etc.

The lone bright spot from the traveling group of Americans? Yes, Thora Birch. She was the toughest and smartest person in the entire movie. A quick nod to Valentin Ganev, who plays the conductor. I first saw him in The Abandoned, which is one of the best horror films I've ever seen. He was quite good in that movie, and equally good in this one. Perhaps he and Birch could team again for a real horror film. Unless you're into this type of film, or have a crush (alleged) on Thora Birch, there are very few reasons to see this film. Half a star for Birch, and half a star cuz she had balls and toughness.

1 Star